


Get Stuffed

by dillonmania



Category: DCU (Comics), The Flash (Comics)
Genre: Farce, Flash Museum, Gen, Taxidermy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-27
Updated: 2015-04-27
Packaged: 2018-03-25 20:19:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 545
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3823435
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dillonmania/pseuds/dillonmania
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A surplus of bodies leads to some odd situations (the story's a wee bit twisted, but in a humourous way).</p>
            </blockquote>





	Get Stuffed

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Katzedecimal](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Katzedecimal/gifts).



> This is based on goofy old RP and some idea-bouncing with Katzedecimal, so I consider this a collaborative effort (although any blame goes to me). Hope you like it!
> 
> Incidentally, I can't believe there's a pre-existing tag for 'taxidermy'.

Hartley bent down and put the finishing touches on the recording system.

“Okay, it’s complete and ready to go,” he noted as he gave the thumbs up and grinned at his friend.

“That’s..great..?” Wally replied with obvious confusion, scratching his head and squinting more closely at the tableau: two tiny cameras and microphones pointed at Roscoe Dillon’s statue in the Flash Museum. “Why the spycams? Are you worried he’s going to come back again or something?”

Hartley laughed. “Oh, _that’s_ a given. You just learn to roll with it in this line of work. Nah, this is something much more fun.”

Wally shrugged, still utterly mystified but well aware that his pal wasn’t going to explain things further; he had a mischievous gleam in his eyes which always meant good-natured trouble. So he dropped the matter and trusted Hartley to bring it up again when the moment was right (in other words, when it’d be particularly funny to do so). He had a feeling he’d be hearing about it whether he wanted to or not.

***

A small personal alarm sounded the following evening, and Hartley quickly checked his messages.

“We’ve got footage!” he crowed gleefully, and cued up the video feed on his tablet. As Wally watched curiously over his shoulder, they saw a middle-aged couple approach the Top’s display and stare at it for a few moments. Then the man jeered at the striped-costumed villain, poking the statue and quickly recoiling.

“Aaaaaaaaagh, this thing is real!” the man yelped as he jumped backwards, holding his hand as though it’d been burned. “It’s like some kinda stuffed roadkill!!”  
His wife screamed at this and ran from the room, with the terrified man scrambling desperately behind her.

“Oh my God!” Hartley gasped with helpless laughter, doubling over and letting the tears stream freely. “That was even better than expected!” He re-cued the video and played it again, never ceasing his cackles.

“What the hell?!” Wally demanded in shock. “Is that…is that really _real_?”

“Of course it is!” Hartley snickered loudly, finally having to put down the tablet to compose himself. “Roscoe requested it in his will, with the stipulation that we record and save people’s reactions for him. He wanted to scare the bejesus out of anyone dumb enough to get too close or touch the display…which is against the rules, I might add.”

“Does Dexter Myles know?”

“Yup. He agreed to it for a week, in exchange for Roscoe’s collection of Top memorabilia to be permanently given to the museum.”

“You guys…” Wally sighed, shaking his head. He had to admit it was pretty funny, albeit in a weirdly morbid kind of way. But he supposed ‘weird and morbid’ were kind of a given for a bunch of men who’d died repeatedly and returned; their attitudes towards death were different from most people's.

“Roscoe’s going to get such a huge kick out of this when he comes back,” Hartley giggled. “I just hope we get more people to notice it so we can make a compilation video or something.”

“Uh huh. What are you guys going to do with the body afterwards?”

Hartley suddenly stopped chuckling and looked at his friend with a thoughtful expression. “You know, that’s a really good question.”


End file.
